May I be so bold … as to suggest …
We live in a May Be world.
We like to think we live in a certain world.
And for the most part we do – because we have designed it that way. The trains and planes are certain to run on time. The shops are certain to open and close at a certain time. We are certain to get paid at the end of the month, and the direct debits are certain to go out as soon as the money comes in. The A+ E certainly accepts emergencies at any time of the day or night. Schools certainly close for the holidays.
We have expectations and assumptions and we are happy when things go according to a certain plan – our plan!
And when they don’t – we get really upset!
And there’s the stuff we work around and we fit in with a bigger plan – the sun rises in the east. Rivers flow to the sea. The earth revolves around the sun. Summer follows Spring. Night turns to day. We like it when the world is so predictable.
If these didn’t happen with certainty we would be terrifically upset.
We certainly don’t like natural disasters one bit. Volcanoes and hurricanes and tsunamis and earthquakes – certainly throw us off kilter completely!
And then there’s the other stuff.
The stuff that’s unexpected, and random and occasional and accidental.
The stuff that other people do.
And this, without doubt, really causes us to be upset.
The driver who swerves in front of us, the waitress who spills the coffee on our new dress, the swing door that he lets swing back the wrong way, the alarm that he failed to set to go off on time, the shower of rain the weather forecaster failed to predict that ruined the picnic !! …
What about the phone call telling you your son has been in a accident, the meeting that says you’re fired, not promoted, the diagnosis that changes your entire future …
All the stuff of life that makes us upset.
We’re rarely upset by the expected. We’re actually somewhat relieved, no matter how bad it is. When we expect the weather to be bad, or the poor test result, or the reading on the weighing scales .. or even the diagnosis … … there’s a satisfaction in being right that we ‘knew’ … we were even ‘certain’ … like we could be somewhat prepared.
“Ah well” ,
We just hate to be ‘blindsided’ – that makes us look a tad stupid – and we hate that. We ‘should’ have seen it coming, we must be more careful, observant, ready the next time.
What stops us fully accepting that we live in an uncertain world?
What makes us believe that we must be ‘ready’ to deal with all eventualities??
What if we were ok with a May Be world and didn’t get upset or disappointed?
Maybe he will be in a good mood today, maybe not; maybe I’ll win or maybe I’ll lose; maybe the weather will be sunny, or maybe it will rain; maybe the news will be good or maybe it will be bad. Maybe I will succeed or maybe I will fail?
And what if we approached each MayBe outcome with equanimity?
What if we could detach from certainty … and go with the flow of life, which is anything but certain.
It’s not going to change the situation one tot – but it could sure changes the experience – MayBe even result in an upset free life!!
Imagine a world where no one got upset – cos no one was expecting anyone to do anything other than what they were doing and no one thought it should be any other way other that the way it is.
May Be we could learn to live this way.
Eileen x
