We like to think we live in a certain world. And for the most part we do because we have made it that way. The trains and planes are certain to run on time. The shops are certain to open and close at a certain time. We are certain to get paid at the end of the month, and the direct debits are certain to go out as soon as the money comes in. The A+ E certainly accepts emergencies at any time of the day or night. Schools certainly close for the holidays.
We have expectations and assumptions and we are happy when things go according to a certain plan – our plan!
And when they don’t – we get really upset!
And there’s all the stuff we work around and we fit in with a bigger plan – the sun rises in the east. That’s for certain certain. Rivers flow to the sea. The earth revolves around the sun. Summer follows Spring. Night turns to day. We like it when the world is so predictable, so certain.
If these didn’t happen with certainty we would certainly be terribly upset.
We certainly don’t like natural disasters one bit. Volcanoes, hurricanes, tsunamis, earthquakes – these are certain to throw us off kilter completely!
And then there’s the other stuff.
The stuff that’s unexpected, and random and occasional and accidental.
The stuff that other people do.
And this, without doubt, really causes us to be upset.
The driver who swerves in front of us, the waitress who spills the coffee on our new shirt, the swing door that he/she lets swing back the wrong way, the alarm that he/she didn’t set to go off on time, the shower of rain that ruins the ideal picnic – the weather forecaster got it wrong!! …
What about the phone call telling you your son has been in a accident, the meeting that says you’re fired, not promoted, the diagnosis that changes your entire future …
All the stuff of life that makes us upset.
And the there’s Covid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We’re rarely upset by the expected. We’re actually somewhat relieved, no matter how bad it is. When we expect the weather to be bad, or the poor test result, or the reading on the weighing scales .. or even the diagnosis … … there’s a certain satisfaction in being right that we ‘knew’ … we were even ‘certain’ … like we could be somewhat prepared.
“Ah well” ,
We just hate to be ‘blindsided’ – that makes us look a tad stupid – and we hate that. We ‘should’ have seen it coming, we must be more careful, observant, ready the next time.
What stops us accepting that we live in an uncertain world? What makes us believe that in order to get on in life, we must be ‘ready’ to deal with ALL eventualities??? No wonder we’re stressed out!!!
What if we were ok with a May Be world?
What if we didn’t get upset or disappointed when things happen – we just got on and dealt with it?
Maybe she will be in a good mood today, maybe not; maybe I’ll win, maybe I’ll lose; maybe the weather will be sunny, maybe it will rain; maybe the news will be good, maybe it will be bad. Maybe I will succeed, maybe I will fail; And maybe I can be ok with it, whatever happens.
What if we approached each MayBe outcome with equanimity? What if we could detach from certainty … and go with the flow of life, which is anything but certain. What if upset wasn’t so certain?
Being upset is not going to change the situation one tot – but it sure changes the experience – MayBe it could even result in living an upset free life!! How great would that be??
Imagine a world where no one got upset – ‘cos no one was expecting anyone to do anything other than what they were doing and no one thought it should be any other way other that the way it is.
May Be we could learn to live this way. Maybe we could channel our ‘upset’ towards dealing with stuff that certainly ought to be deal with – like hunger and
