I am preparing to give a talk to school students, and I am trying to remember back to those days myself, wondering what had me sit up and listen to what the person in the front of the room was trying to tell me.
Blank!
School was school and everyone was telling me to do something, all the time … sit up, pay attention, stop day dreaming, you must learn this off by heart or you will fail your exams …
So I did what I was told; I sat up, I paid attention, I stopped daydreaming, I learnt stuff off by heart and I passed my exams.
I was a ‘good girl’. I did what I was told. That was my training from home. It worked for me … at least until I was old enough to tell myself that I didn’t always have to do what I was told … I could choose. I often chose to ignore what I was told … and go and go ‘the opposite’ just to check it out and soon I discovered for myself … that people generally give good advice but we need to discover it for ourselves. We do not want to be told what to do. ‘When the pupil is ready the teacher appears’.
So, how to connect with the school students of today?
How to get past the ‘school pupil’ and speak to the ‘life student’?
Life is a school and we are here to learn. The best thing we can learn is how to discover and shine our own light, a light that lights up our life, that inspires us to to great things or small things, a light that brightens an otherwise dark world.
Some of us shine in school, some of us shine on the sports field, some of us shine on stage ….. we each have the opportunity to chose the arena we want to play/work in – we may call it work, but if we are working at what we love, maybe it can seem more like playing, where we can enjoy learning and exploring and creating and growing and developing and improving …. as children do …..
So, how come it seems like hard work and struggle and effort? Why do we resist ‘being told what to do’ (even if it made our lives easier), now that we are ‘adults’ ! How come so many end up in jobs/ careers where we can’t wait to ‘escape’, (on holiday or the weekend)? Now that we are no longer being tested or compared with our classmates or peers, how come so many are not living fulfilling and satisfied lives, doing what they love, shining their light?
Many of us had our light ‘dimmed’ while in school. Perhaps we failed to shine in the classroom. Perhaps our best efforts went unnoticed. Perhaps the teacher was irritated or annoyed by our childish exuberance. Perhaps we fared badly when we compared ourselves with our peers. Maybe reading and writing did not come easy for some, or maths was a problem, or history was simply an irrelevance, and the joy of learning was stiffled. We never got the chance to discover our true passion. Perhaps we were set on a path towards ‘academic success’ that would never be our true self expression.
I became a doctor because I was a ‘good girl’, I was ‘brainy’; a quiet, shy child, staying out of trouble, hiding behind my books, fearing the worst – people would not like me because I had a stammer, I was not one of the popular ones. So I did what I was told, I studied and I became a doctor. And then … I stopped doing what I was told. I did it ‘my way’. I did not follow an established career path. I made my own. I no longer compared myself to others. I wanted something different. I trained in many different areas of medicine. I travelled. I listened a lot. I learnt about people. I had great moments but times of intense frustration when I could not make a difference with people. I was upset when people came to me ‘too late’, when the ‘damage’ was already done.
Now I want to make a difference earlier. I want people to listen to me. But most people are so busy talking, no one is really listening … to anyone. We just listen to ourselves. This is what I discovered most. People listen to something other than what they think they are listening to.
People need to listen for something … something they don’t already know.
What will these students be listening for?
What do they want?
Will they listen to me?
That is the question?
Eileen x
